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26 October 2011 @ 10:23 pm
I'm so very, very sorry ...  
I promise with all my heart, I had intended to write reviews of Supernatural  for however many seasons the show ran. I love the show unreservedly, even when I criticize its scripts or execution, and it still remains the only show I absolutely refuse to miss every week. I am invested in it, heart and soul, and don't see that changing, period.

Unfortunately, however, I have also finally been forced to admit there are just not enough hours in the day for me to combine my full-time (and very intellectually demanding) job, my determination to start my own fledgling part-time voiceover business (into which I intend to retire full-time in 400 days, effective at 16:00 Eastern time on November 30, 2012), and blogging a review every week on Supernatural . I simply can't maintain the commitment to write a review/meta every week as I did in years past. And that is killing me. I want to write -- damn, I'm full of ideas and words, not to mention passion -- but I just don't have the spare 16 to 20 or so hours it took every week for me to write my coherent commentary, however desperately much I want to do it.

Any time I DO have the chance to write, I will post what I come up with -- but there is simply no way I can do what I've done from the start of season two, which was to provide a review every week. I feel so torn, because I truly WANT to write -- but something has to give, and this is the only truly voluntary thing there is. 

I am more sorry than words can express, but I have to concede that I simply can't do weekly commentaries any more. I know you can understand, and will be supportive, and that kills me, too; I hate failing people as much as Dean does, I swear. I just don't see any way out of this trap, not if I'm going to build my safety net for early retirement. 

I am so, so sorry to let you all down. I love Supernatural  and being a part of the Supernatural  fandom world through writing weekly reviews; giving it up feels like failure, and that is emphatically NOT something I'm accustomed to. Alas, I just don't see any way to win this particular game, not unless I let something I love go. I wish I could dump the full-time job instead, but that's not exactly an option at the moment, I'm afraid.

So, my most earnest and abject apologies. I hope with everything I've got that Supernatural  will extend to an 8th season, because once I trade the Fed for a voiceover life at the end of November next year, I should be able to spend my time as I wish, rather than simply as I must. Until then, however, I have to do what preserves my future.

I promise I'll be here as I can, but I fear that won't be nearly as much as I wish. And for that, I grieve, and apologize.

Damn.

:(

 
 
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: "We'll Meet Again" by Benny Goodman and his Orchestra, featuring Peggy Lee
 
 
 
Wynefred: misc - roseswynefred on October 27th, 2011 02:29 am (UTC)
Oh, honey! You certainly haven't let me down! If anything, I feel like I've let you down by not reading them all. I made it about halfway through your latest one (nodding and uttering "Amen, sister" throughout) but had to abandon it for dinner, homework, kids' bedtime, etc. Real life. Why does it have to get in the way??

I wish you all possible luck with your new career. You deserve to be happy in your work. *hugs*

farawayeyes4: Bitch Jerkfarawayeyes4 on October 27th, 2011 02:37 am (UTC)
You gotta do what you gotta do. We'll still be here when you can catch your breath! I hope you won't disappear entirely from the fandom!
Luminosity: SPN-Devils Trap S3sockkpuppett on October 27th, 2011 02:47 am (UTC)
I've found your reviews and commentaries entertaining, fascinating and wonderful food for thought through a couple of fandoms. I shall miss their regularity, but you have a life and goals and dreams. Those are more important. I will look forward to whatever you have to say, whenever you have the time to say it. Best of luck to you!
borgmama1of5borgmama1of5 on October 27th, 2011 02:55 am (UTC)
Wish you the best success with your new venture, and whenever you have a moment to jot a paragraph or two, be assured I will read it!
seesmooshrunseesmooshrun on October 27th, 2011 03:03 am (UTC)
Crap, how did I not notice I was "Anonymous"? I'm logged in now and can't even delete and repost because the comment is screened... argh.. Anyway, those ::hugs:: and good wishes were from me.
rosefickeroseficke on October 27th, 2011 03:03 am (UTC)
Oh dear, I had truly hoped this day would never come. I remember when I found your reviews. I went back and read them from the beginning and from then on I've read every single one. Without a lie (and no disrespect to the many other very good reviewers out there) you have written the most thought out, intelligent and insightful reviews of Supernatural, bar none.

But alas, all good things must come to an end. I wish you the best of luck in your newest venture and look forward to whatever tidbits you'll be able to throw our way. It has truly been a pleasure, Mary. In the meantime, I'll see you around on Twitter!

Cheers, Rose
bagginsdvmbagginsdvm on October 27th, 2011 03:22 am (UTC)
Don't feel bad! I know how busy things can get, but you've got to take care of yourself! I've loved your insightful & awesome reviews & fanfic, & I'll be happy to read whenever you have time to write. Best of luck with your new career!
corbyinozcorbyinoz on October 27th, 2011 03:39 am (UTC)
You're not letting anyone down - you've contributed so much to this fandom, more than anyone could ever expect, and although I will certainly miss your considered and careful and brilliant insights, you have to do what is bets for you. My only thought is - you know, you could always just throw in some off the cuff comments, when and if you can. Your first responses would be worth ten of my meta posts!
Amberamberdreams on October 27th, 2011 06:20 am (UTC)
That's exactly what I was thinking - chuck us insta-reactions to stay in touch, do a meta in depth when life allows and the mood takes you and in the meantime - good luck with all your real life endeavours which always come first!
raloria - Screencapping Goddess: Brothers 5raloria on October 27th, 2011 03:43 am (UTC)
I'm having a similar problem with my own episode reviews so I can sort of relate. I've fallen behind and finally come to the conclusion that I can't do them as I once did. The reviews are now going to be reduced to my brief thoughts each night right after the eppy airs. No more pretty caps involved. I hate to do it because, like you, I feel I'm letting people down.

But life is what it is. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for what's more important. In this case it's your future. Everyone will understand because we all have to make similar decisions.

I regret that I've rarely read your reviews in the past (again, that old problem of a lack of time). But I know that they are held in high esteem by many and will be missed. However, once you have the time once again to devote to them they'll be welcomed back with open arms. Do what you've gotta do. Work on your present, your future, get yourself where you need to be. We'll wait. :) *hugs*
weimar27weimar27 on October 27th, 2011 06:08 am (UTC)
awe. I've really enjoyed your reviews. Very insightful and interesting.

Hope things get better.
galathea_snb: s&d huggalathea_snb on October 27th, 2011 07:21 am (UTC)
Oh Mary, I am so sorry to hear that. I can absolutely relate to your problems. Ever since I took up a new job, writing my reviews has become a real time management challenge and just like you I just really don't want to part with writing them - but it has become a huge stress, and I can only do it dropping almost every other hobby of mine. LOL

But life is what it is. I will miss your reviews sorely. However, I hope your business takes off and is everything you hope it to be. *hugs*
Danipinkphoenix1985 on October 27th, 2011 08:38 am (UTC)
Bardic, please don't apologize. As much as we hate to admit it, RL comes first before fandom and honestly? You should never do fandom things if you feel that you need to not because you want to.

I totally understand where you're coming from and while I'll grief for the loss (hopefully temporarily!) of your very insightful reviews-- I look forward to when you can return and to any thing that you can give us in whatever you can.

Thanks for the years of great reviews!

Pink
kelioskelios on October 27th, 2011 08:43 am (UTC)
We'll be here when you get back :) Take care of yourself, and I look forward to seeing you (here and in RL hopefully) whenever time permits.

*hugs*
primrose_1primrose_1 on October 27th, 2011 09:33 am (UTC)
I read your reviews on Supernatural tv, and found my way over here. You are an awesome reviewer! You had insights and ideas that I hadn't considered and I loved reading them. Thank you so much for your contributions! Good luck with all your projects!
fannishliss: j2 sweetnessfannishliss on October 27th, 2011 10:50 am (UTC)
I am so happy for you and your plans for your own home studio! congratulations!!! that is a huge fulfillment of a dream!!!

Your reviews have always been, to quote Zaphod, AMAZINGLY AMAZING. You're certainly NOT letting us down -- you've given us so much bounty already!!!

I hope you will at least keep a notebook so that you'll have notes for when life gets less hectic!

I would say that posting "insta-reviews" might be a balm to your own disappointment at not posting more.... and we would be eager to pick up every crumb. The 16-20 hour timechunk is too much right now -- but what if you just posted your notes? You could friendslock it and clean it up in the future?

I hope you will post a few thoughts when you have a moment!

Your reviews of SPN are THE BEST. Period. They certainly reflect all the time and hard work you've put in.

I've never had the opportunity to meet you in RL, but I'm not giving up that one day that chance will arise!


Your fangirl, --Liss


sn_mistresssn_mistress on October 27th, 2011 11:33 am (UTC)
Sending you lots of love and hugs, Mary.

xoxoxo
Sandra
ficwriter1966ficwriter1966 on October 27th, 2011 01:13 pm (UTC)
Mary - there is NO need to apologize. RL is what it is - and how exciting, a new business to get underway!

Sometimes all the pieces fall together and allow us to do everything we're inspired to do; more often they don't. I agree with the other commenters who've said: by all means, pop in when time allows with a bit of reaction to the episode, and don't worry about the rest. You don't *owe* us anything. Just be happy!
morgansladymorganslady on October 27th, 2011 01:32 pm (UTC)
No guilt please. I've enjoyed your reviews but understand fully about time constraints.. Whenever you can pop by will be appreciated.
jdsgirlbevjdsgirlbev on October 27th, 2011 04:41 pm (UTC)
No guilt necessary. While we had you, you were mah-velous da-hling! :D
slaybelle69slaybelle69 on October 27th, 2011 06:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for all you've contributed so far to the fandom. Like you, I have come to love this show and it's the only thing I don't miss. But, there's another thing that I looked forward to each week and that was your insightful, honest, beautifully constructed reviews. However, real life is that pesky thing that keeps intervening between our flights of imagination we take with the Winchesters each week.

Can I tell you a secret? I rewatched the entire series last summer on my dvds and before each episode, I went in to read your summation and review before watching each epi. And, I learned so much! I got about 3 shows in a day, and I felt like I was studying a class with the production notes you provided, and it finally felt like I 'got' so much more out of the show that was just for the fans. For that I sincerely thank you.

This was not to make you feel guilty or in any way try to encourage you to reconsider you position on writing the reviews, but I just wanted to let you know that as relatively quiet flisty, I truly appreciate what you have already produced for us to read. I am hopeful that on occasion, when you can't stand the silence from your input, you will give us an opinion piece,season-review, or tidbit from your perspective and we'll eat it up like we were infected with famine!

Best of luck with your endeavors!
sothcwedensothcweden on October 27th, 2011 11:36 pm (UTC)
I think fandom is something that should add to the joy in your life, not make you feel weighed down with more obligation. Best wishes with starting your new business - it sounds wonderful.
Gaelicspirit: hug it outgaelicspirit on October 28th, 2011 01:21 am (UTC)
I think you're very brave, actually. Your commentary has always blown me away and had me shrinking with with the brilliance of your thoughts.

Good for you for focusing on YOU and what you need to do. I mean that. You will never be far from the thoughts of the SPN fandom. And if/when you return with your reviews, there will be throngs who line up to read. But life is about so much more than commentary, is it not?

I have to admit that at times I drown in what I feel is an obligation and suffer because of my fear of being forgotten if I don't do certain things...like ramble. But you, my dear, are etched in our hearts and minds. You have nothing to fear.

Take care of you and thank you for all you've done in fandom over the years.
It's a lid and it's black.blacklid on October 29th, 2011 12:19 am (UTC)
I think you are one of those people, like me and tahirire and others, who have been inspired by this show in one way or another to change careers and become what we believe we should be. No matter what falls by the wayside here (we both miss our picspam reviews like crazy!), the true testament of this show and its crew is the positive impact they have had on so many of us over the years. As another fan said once, Sam and Dean don't just hunt and kill demons on TV, they do it in real life, too. I will miss your posts but I am filled with happiness for the awesome opportunity you are taking to live your dream. Life goes on :-)
rgnyc on November 2nd, 2011 10:38 pm (UTC)
Thanks for everything!
Hi Mary. I have so appreciated your beautiful commentaries and analysis for each episode of Supernatural and will greatly miss them. I will keep a look out for any future comments you might make--even a quick note--and wish you all the best! xoxoxo
(Anonymous) on November 3rd, 2011 07:14 pm (UTC)
A heartfelt thank you
Dear Mary: Even though you don't know me, I feel obligated to express my heartfelt appreciation for taking so much of your time to write your outstanding reviews of Supernatural, seasons 2 - 6. It wasn't until last year when I retired that I discovered your reviews. It is obvious that SPN has touched your heart and mind as it has mine, yet reading your superbly written reviews has provided me with a whole new level of understanding and admiration for this series. Because I am now retired, I am afforded the time to never miss an episode of SPN whether on TNT or The CW. It has become my routine to always read your review before watching any rerun so that I have the opportunity to savor the highlights you have pointed out so perceptively. I am quite frankly in awe not only of your insight but also your incomparable writing skill. Each review must have taken hours to write and is clearly a labor of love. All SPN fans know that Chuck is credited with writing "The Winchester Gospels". In my mind, you deserve similar recognition for opening our eyes to the many layers in each episode. Many others have told you that your reviews will be sorely missed. I too am anxious to be left in the dark without the guiding light of your stirring insights. You need to know HOW MUCH all of us sincerely appreciate the body of work that you have given to us, and that your reviews are reread and enjoyed still again each & every day. Mary, you have given us a rare gift. Please know that it is treasured.

Best wishes to you, always.
Sue
synapticshiversynapticshiver on November 5th, 2011 05:18 am (UTC)
I've always loved your reviews, for their attention to detail, their fascinating insights into both the story and the behind the scenes production, and the amount of glee about the show you managed to infuse into every sentence. As others above have mentioned, they are clearly a labor of love for you, and I want to thank you so much for letting us get a glimpse into your thoughts about the show. I appreciate that your reviews were hearteningly positive -- you weren't afraid to include constructive criticism, but your reviews always highlighted the strengths of each episode, and I found myself nodding along whenever I read your reviews. I applaud you for your incredible work thus far, and I wish you the best in all your future endeavors! If you ever feel like writing anything more in the future, of course, you definitely have another devoted reader here. ♥
sylia91sylia91 on November 10th, 2011 05:25 am (UTC)
Though I admit I will sincerely miss your always in depth and insightful reviews and analyses I can't be anything but excited at your new adventures in life and hope for nothing but the best in all your endeavors. Please drop in the fandom when you can because your input is always worth diamonds.