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11 August 2008 @ 09:52 pm
Last Rites, a Supernatural fic (and Sweet Charity debt!)  

News Flash:  This story is now also available in French, courtesy of the wonderful Chiiyo86, at her fanfiction.net account here. Thank you very much for helping me make people cry in a whole different language!

Title:
  Last Rites
Rating:  PG-13 (mature themes)
Characters/Pairing:  Sam, Bobby; memories of Dean, John
Words:  ~6,270
Disclaimers:  These characters belong to Eric Kripke, Wonderland Sound and Vision, and Warner Brothers Telvision. No infringement is intended.
Warnings/Summary:   This is a coda to 3.16, No Rest For The Wicked:  Sam and Bobby bury Dean.  This is also my incredibly overdue Sweet Charity fic for the wonderfully patient 

psychoactivtoad

  -- I'm sorry this took so long and wasn't what I originally intended, but I hope I fulfilled your request that I make you cry!






The exquisite art banner was created by the brilliant  

cakehole_cat

  -- thank you, my very dear, you nailed it!

 
 
Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
Current Music: "Say It To Me Now" by Glen Hansard
 
 
 
tari_roo: How the world endstari_roo on August 15th, 2008 07:04 pm (UTC)
i am utterly stunned... floored. I got all choked up quite a few times and and it was all just so - heart wrenching. Wonderful wonderful writing, so heartfelt and moving.

You really captured the raw emotion and grief. and Sam turning into Mystery Spot Sam. All just so amazing.

thank you for a touching fic
bardicvoicebardicvoice on August 16th, 2008 01:00 am (UTC)
Thank you for coming by, and for letting me know that this worked for you! I had been afraid of taking it over the top, and was just too close to it to judge, so I'm relieved that it has accomplished what I intended.

I needed to do this to get ready for season four. Now I'm ready. I think.
morgansladymorganslady on August 15th, 2008 08:12 pm (UTC)
Mary,
This is the part of the show we'll never see,I can only hope Kripke reads this. Sam's raw emotions, he and Bobby tending to Dean. Your decription of the final act of love was heart renching. Beautifully done.
bardicvoicebardicvoice on August 16th, 2008 01:03 am (UTC)
Thank you! One reason I felt the need to do this was the sense that we would never get to see these moments; that they would be left to our imaginations, and we would just be thrown into the continuation of the story. I needed to process my grief, and to see Sam and Bobby doing it as well; I couldn't not write this story.

It would be a thrill if anyone connected with the show read this, but I know that's way too much to expect. Still - it would be nice!
grand_sophygrand_sophy on August 16th, 2008 05:13 pm (UTC)
Wow, that's cathartic (as evidenced by the pile of used tissues beside my keyboard). After the finale I kept thinking of Dean's poor body, and Sam and Bobby having to deal with it. This is exactly what happened, and I feel better now. Gotta get through that first stage of grieving, and this helps. Thanks!
whimsywinx: SN-HappyEndwhimsywinx on August 17th, 2008 12:21 am (UTC)
Totally unrelated to the cathartic trauma I just read, but I have to tell you, The Grand Sophy is one of my all-time favorite books.
(no subject) - bardicvoice on August 17th, 2008 02:44 am (UTC) (Expand)
whimsywinx: SN-BrothersHugDittowhimsywinx on August 17th, 2008 12:19 am (UTC)
Oh, god! I need to see Mystery Spot again. I need to see Sam hug Dean like now.

*sob*
bardicvoice: LastRites <lj user=Cakehole_Cat>bardicvoice on August 17th, 2008 02:46 am (UTC)
God, I so want to see the brothers together again! Living through this has been torment ...
Kimmerkimmer1227 on August 17th, 2008 08:52 pm (UTC)
I read this the other day, and should have commented then. Something brought me back again, and I'm still at a loss. I'll just say I loved it, and the grief is really palpable. Sam and Bobby just break my heart. Nicely done
bardicvoice: LastRites <lj user=Cakehole_Cat>bardicvoice on August 17th, 2008 09:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much for coming back! This was a rough story to write, but I couldn't NOT do it; I had to get through this to be ready for season four.

I'm very glad that it worked for you!
lovetheguyslovetheguys on August 18th, 2008 11:22 pm (UTC)
I bet this is exactly what really happened, you know? Poor Sam. I think about the sweet young man we met back in the pilot episode and know he's gone forever. It makes me want to weep.

Excellent job here. Too good. It made me cry so hard.

Love, Robin
bardicvoice: LastRites <lj user=Cakehole_Cat>bardicvoice on August 18th, 2008 11:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Robin! It felt real to me while I was writing it.

I've been rewatching season one lately, and the difference in the boys - especially in Sam - is so striking. They've been through so much. I'm with you; it makes me grieve.
Killing threads since 2000 CE: brokengwendolyngrace on August 19th, 2008 12:31 am (UTC)
Ow.

This was painful and horrible and so hard to read because it rings so true and so awful and oh, SAM, and if it's anything like this for real on 9/25, I will die half a death myself.

OW.

Wibble.
bardicvoice: LastRites <lj user=Cakehole_Cat>bardicvoice on August 19th, 2008 11:48 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I had the sense that we probably wouldn't get this moment (though I won't be unhappy if Kripke proves me wrong!), but I felt the need to live through it, no matter how much it hurt. I'm very glad that I wrote this, because I think it helped me cope and prepare for whatever is coming ...
One Moment of Clarity: it's wednesdayclarity159 on August 19th, 2008 02:42 am (UTC)
"...call me young gun..."

Lovely story, but oh, so painful to read. The line that got me was Bobby's, "You *remember* him." Great song choice, I love the entire "Blaze of Glory" CD (Bon Jovi rocks on that occasion, for sure ;-) and always thought this song fit Dean very well. "Never Say Die" fits the Winchesters really well, also.
bardicvoice: LastRites <lj user=Cakehole_Cat>bardicvoice on August 19th, 2008 11:51 pm (UTC)
Thank you! It hurt to write, too, but I just had to.

I was trolling my entire music collection for the right song to use to break Sam. None of my initial thoughts were Bon Jovi ... and then I was thinking about the boys singing to "Wanted Dead or Alive" and the lyrics to "Blaze of Glory" just seared across my mind and they were perfect ...
rieyllrieyll on August 19th, 2008 04:18 am (UTC)
Here from TWOP.

This is beautiful. Extremely heartbreaking, Sam's grief and reactions were so palpable, and ultimately very real. I teared up more times than I care to admit.

Thank you for writing this!
bardicvoice: LastRites <lj user=Cakehole_Cat>bardicvoice on August 19th, 2008 11:53 pm (UTC)
Welcome! I'm glad that my decision to pimp myself on TWOP bore fruit - I really wasn't sure about doing that (scary place, TWOP), but I'm glad you came!

Thank you for reading, and for letting me know that the story did what I meant for it to do.
noirbabalonnoirbabalon on August 21st, 2008 02:13 am (UTC)
sooo heartbreaking to hear Sam's grief and and his knowledge that he is alone now...nothing brings that home more than sitting with the dead. Too, being alone may have been something he wished for when he went to Stanford but this is a terrible wish to receive.

I like that you ended with Sam travelling in silence...it seems fitting some how that without Dean the sound and fury would be internalised and focused within Sam rather than Dean's use of them as outward distraction.

Thank you for sharing.

bardicvoice: LastRites <lj user=Cakehole_Cat>bardicvoice on August 22nd, 2008 12:26 am (UTC)
Thank you for coming, and for commenting.

I had to end it in silence; could you imagine a single song that wouldn't speak of Dean to Sam? Poor thing; he keeps it all inside.

Is it September 18 yet?
(Anonymous) on August 21st, 2008 06:51 am (UTC)
In the closing minutes of No Rest for the Wicked, I rememeber feeling stunned, awestruck, contemplative, but not sad. I didn't cry, even though I expected to, and felt slightly disappointed I hadn't. But when I began your words today, I had no control of the unexpected raw emotion that overwhelmed me; tears flowed, I grieved with Sam. I still feel a tense ache in my throat, in my chest. Your story was simply awesome and shall be treasured.
bardicvoice: LastRites <lj user=Cakehole_Cat>bardicvoice on August 22nd, 2008 12:29 am (UTC)
Thank you! What you just said tells me that I accomplished my intent in writing this. I'm humbled, and gratified, and happy.

And looking forward to season four.
Zazzazreil on August 22nd, 2008 04:31 am (UTC)
Wow - beautiful, heart breaking and the perfect segue to anything that might happen or not happen in season four

Zaz
bardicvoice: LastRites <lj user=Cakehole_Cat>bardicvoice on August 22nd, 2008 10:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I think writing it prepared me for the new season better than anything else could have done; I'm glad to know that it's serving the same purpose for others!
koosh2012 on August 22nd, 2008 11:40 pm (UTC)
Hi Mary...
I came. I saw. I read. I've been putting it off for a quiet time, a safe space, you know? Didn't want to pollute the experience with travel. But now, I wish I had a few hundred more miles to "drive it off" - scratch that, maybe a few thousand more miles could maybe do the trick! Thanks for the little torture. I'll blame it on Toady... ;)
Hugs,
Kooshie
bardicvoice: LastRites <lj user=Cakehole_Cat>bardicvoice on August 23rd, 2008 01:17 am (UTC)
Thank you, Koosh. But don't blame Toady too much; she never specified how much I should make her cry ...

I think seriously that writing this helped me get ready for season four. I had to bury Dean right along with Sam and Bobby before I could start processing my grief from season three.

Now I want Dean back, and I want Sam and Bobby healed along with him. I know that's going to take time if it happens at all, but I want to be there for it.
(no subject) - koosh2012 on August 24th, 2008 01:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on August 23rd, 2008 08:19 pm (UTC)

Mary,

Just wanted to let you know how much I apreciate what you do. But no matter how hard I try to find the words to thank you for 'Last Rites', I cant find them. Im not a writer.
But believe me girl. When I say thank you I mean

........THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pietie





bardicvoice: LastRites <lj user=Cakehole_Cat>bardicvoice on August 23rd, 2008 11:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Pietie! I am so very glad you took the time to write, despite claiming not to be a writer. Believe me, in my book, you did just fine!
the ricky the bartender fanatic.: spn: dean - bwvorrothiel on October 7th, 2008 03:55 am (UTC)
wow. Amazing. For a moment I thought you had written this after 4.01, that's how well it fits within the canon.
bardicvoicebardicvoice on October 8th, 2008 12:08 am (UTC)
Thank you! Writing this was my attempt to prepare myself for season four by wrapping up the immediate aftermath of season three. I am beyond chuffed that it resonated so well with the choices the show actually made!