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04 March 2007 @ 09:06 pm
Graveyard Shift, a Supernatural fic  
Title:  Graveyard Shift
Author:  bardicvoice
Rating:  G
Word Count: ~900
Summary:  What impression might an outsider get of the Winchester brothers on a salt-and-burn mission?
Spoilers:  None

If this story sounds familiar, well, it might be: as of July 28, 2008, I'm bringing over to LJ the stories I originally published over on fanfiction.net, just to make them easier to find.

Graveyard Shift
Copyright 2007, Bardicvoice
Freakin’ huge, man.
What? Honest first impressions, that’s what you said. That’s what I’m givin’ you. You want somethin’ different, you should’a said so.
Okay, okay, fine. Start at the beginnin’. Right. So, I’m a night watchman, okay? Didn’t used to be much of a problem. I mean, always had some hooligans would mess around with the headstones an’ such, an’ some of ‘em were mean, but mostly it’s just kids. Past few years, got more of ‘em, ‘cause of those dumb-ass television shows, you know? The vampire stuff? Used to be it was just ‘round Halloween, now it’s all year round. Jeez. Kids come to scare the crap out’a each other.
Right. Sorry. Anyway, so it’s what, about two in the morning, I hear this noise. Knew right off it would be trouble. Ain’t nobody belongs here would drive some bad-ass muscle car with an engine like that. Couldn’t rightly place where it was straight off, though. They wasn’t usin’ headlights, an’ sound bounces all over, what with the trees an’ the mausoleum an’ all. I just knew they’d stopped somewhere inside the fence, so I went lookin’.
After a bit, I heard shovels. Made me mad. You don’t screw around with graves, man. Ain’t respectful. I get a bit closer, an’ I see these two guys diggin’. Looked like they’d done it a lot. Real practiced, if you know what I mean. Hell, the guys workin’ here ain’t even that good. Use backhoes these days. Anyway, these two were really puttin’ their backs into it, an’ bitchin’ at each other the whole time, too, ‘bout how one of ‘em should’a caught on faster, or somethin’. Didn’t make any kind’a sense, you ask me. They was talkin’ crap about spirits like they meant it. Crazy talk.
Anyway, I figured I’d better call the cops on this one. Kids, I can deal with, but these two? Like I said, one of ‘em was freakin’ huge. I mean, he could probably stand next to Shaq an’ still look normal, you get my drift? The other one just looked hard. Military, you know? Moved like a S.E.A.L. or somethin’. An’ then I saw what was on the ground next to ‘em. Weapons, man. A sawed-off shotty, couple of pistols, gas can. An’ I swear to God, a bag of salt. I mean, what the hell?
So I start backin’ up, but I must’a made some kind’a noise, ‘cause all of a sudden the big one’s comin’ at me like a freakin’ freight train, an’ the other one’s rollin’ up out’a the grave and grabbin’ the shotty like he’s in some action movie, yellin’ somethin’ ‘bout a ghost. Next thing I know, the big one’s tackled me right down, an’ the other guy puts a couple rounds right over my head. That close, it’s like Judgment Day, goin’ off in my ears. Couldn’t hear a thing for a bit. Thought for a second I saw a flash of somethin’ there, somethin’ white, an’ it felt kind’a cold, but it was probably just my head hittin’ the ground, makin’ me lose it for a bit.
Anyway, I come to, an’ the big one’s tyin’ me up. An’ get this – he’s apologizin’ to me while he’s doin’ it. Ain’t that enough to beat all? The other one’s dumpin’ salt an’ gas in the grave, an’ then he lights it off, casual as you please. He stands there like it’s some kind’a marshmallow roast, or somethin’. Since I got nothin’ else I can do, I take a good look at both of ‘em, an’ I see they both look like they was in a fight. I mean, the hard one’s got a split lip and blood on his ear, and the big guy’s got a shiner comin’ up on his left eye. But once they got me tied up and the grave burnt, well, they was just as polite as you please. Seemed kind’a embarrassed about it all, tyin’ me up, I mean. Then what do they do, but fill in the grave again, once the fire goes out, and neaten up the place. I mean, they freakin’ laid the sod back down, man! It’s like they didn’t want to leave any trace behind, except for me. Funny, after all that, but it was like – it was like they had respect, you know? Even though they dug somebody up an’ burned him – her, whatever – after, they acted like, like … like it was a funeral again, maybe.
So that’s what happened. They picked up all their stuff an’ put it in their car – black job, somethin’ old, but with a real sweet set of chrome wheels on it. Classic, you know? The hard one said somethin’ ‘bout gettin’ a beer. The big one patted me on the shoulder an’ said they’d call the cops to find me, an’ he apologized again for hittin’ me so hard an’ tyin’ me up.
An’ I guess they must’a called you, ‘cause you got here maybe thirty minutes after they left.
Nah, there’s nothin’ else. Mug books? Yeah, I guess I could do that. They didn’t sound like they was from around here, though. Where? Don’t know where. Just – not here, is all. But I’ll look.
Freakin’ weird night, man. I gotta get me a different job, that’s all I can say.
Freakin’ weird.


Comments are love and much happiness.
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: "Ramblin' Man" by the Allman Brothers Band
cindy: spn - dean gunporn (by lostmemento)tsuki_no_bara on August 1st, 2008 05:06 am (UTC)
i love outsider pov's, and this is a great one. i love that sam apologizes for having to tie the guy up, and that the boys refill the grave and put the sod back down and tidy up before they leave, and that the watchman recognizes it as respect for the dead.
bardicvoice: Wryly Amused SamDean by <lj user=janglybardicvoice on August 6th, 2008 01:04 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm really glad you enjoyed this. I heard the narrator's voice in my head drawling that opening line, and I just had to write it. One word just followed the next, and I had fun watching what happened.
Beckyewanspotter on August 1st, 2008 07:48 am (UTC)
Funny, after all that, but it was like – it was like they had respect, you know? Even though they dug somebody up an’ burned him – her, whatever – after, they acted like, like … like it was a funeral again, maybe.

That's a great bit. So very the boys.

You did a great job with this guy's voice. (Dean a SEAL. Heheh.)

bardicvoice: Wryly Amused SamDean by <lj user=janglybardicvoice on August 6th, 2008 01:11 am (UTC)
Thank you! I had a lot of fun writing this; I heard that opening line drawled in my head, and immediately started to laugh realizing that I was going to have to write what he was seeing and that the only way to write it was in his voice.

I always had the sense that the boys distinguished between the people who had died and the spirit remnants left behind and respected the human part, so I was delighted when Roadkill aired and precisely that difference came out.
redrikkiredrikki on August 1st, 2008 01:23 pm (UTC)
I really liked the idea that they tidied up the grave site after they left. I mean, I figured they normally did that so no one would get suspicious, but I liked the idea they would do that even when someone already knows they were there.
bardicvoice: Wryly Amused SamDean by <lj user=janglybardicvoice on August 6th, 2008 01:18 am (UTC)
Thank you! I always felt that the boys respected human death even when the leftover spirit was jerking them around; they didn't hold it against the person that the ghost went angry-nuts. And while covering up their traces made sense on a regular basis, it just felt right that they would continue to show respect.
May Robinson: Boys Impala Lights onmay7fic on August 6th, 2008 03:13 am (UTC)
What an adorable outside pov story :). I just *loved* your oc's voice.
bardicvoice: Wryly Amused SamDean by <lj user=janglybardicvoice on August 6th, 2008 10:40 am (UTC)
Thank you! I heard that voice in my head drawling the opening lines, and I just had to write the rest of it!
still searching for something...amy_star_ on August 29th, 2008 08:17 am (UTC)
I really loved this. Reccing at spnroundtable.
bardicvoice: BrotherHug by <lj user=katysam>bardicvoice on August 29th, 2008 12:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much, for both the comment and the recc! I'm glad you enjoyed it. This was my first Supernatural story, and it still makes me laugh. I heard that voice drawling that opening line in my head, and just knew I had to write it ... and the rest is history.

I hope you might enjoy my other tales as well!
Lou: Lousy icongottalovev on August 29th, 2008 01:24 pm (UTC)
hee, that's awesome! excellent outsider POV, I loved!
bardicvoice: Pats You anibardicvoice on August 29th, 2008 09:11 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed my silly little tale, and hope you might visit some of my other stories sometime.

And your icon ROCKS!!! That had me in stitches! It's definitely better than nothing ... *grin*
(Anonymous) on August 30th, 2008 02:14 pm (UTC)
hee, glad you like it! =D

I will surely check your stuff more closely soon!
(Deleted comment)
bardicvoice: Boys toysbardicvoice on September 3rd, 2008 02:56 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm delighted that you enjoyed it, and hope you might choose to visit some of my other maunderings as well!

I heard this guy's voice drawling in my head with the opening few lines, and knew that I absolutely had to write this, if only to shut him up! *grin*

And your icon is so perfectly and hilariously appropriate for this ...
peeps wanna see peeps boink: suddenly have to burnmusesfool on September 5th, 2008 02:26 am (UTC)
I enjoyed this.
bardicvoice: Feels Like Home by <lj user=Cakehole_Catbardicvoice on September 6th, 2008 12:30 am (UTC)
I'm glad! And thanks for telling me.

Your icon is most appropriate, under the circumstances ... *grin*
borgmama1of5borgmama1of5 on January 16th, 2011 06:28 am (UTC)
Oh, hearts for this!
bardicvoice: impalamusic by <lj user=crazypandabear>bardicvoice on January 17th, 2011 09:53 pm (UTC)
Very glad you enjoyed it! I heard the narrator's voice in my head and just had to write the thing - laughing hysterically all the way!
drewanna67drewanna67 on July 13th, 2014 09:09 pm (UTC)
My first Supernatural fanfic, and it is fantastic! When I decided I was going to read fanfic this summer, I felt safe starting with yours (I have been a twitter lurker and follower of your comments on the show and was very sad when I couldn't find them anymore) because your insight into the show is brilliant! Plus, you are one cool bike-riding, plane flying, adventurous, awesome woman! Alos, I am so glad these LJ fanfics are still around for me to read. Thanks!
bardicvoice: impalamusic by <lj user=crazypandabear>bardicvoice on July 14th, 2014 01:33 am (UTC)
Re: Thanks!
Thank YOU! I'm glad you started you fanfic adventure with my stuff, and I'm especially glad both that you liked it, and that you took the time to tell me so! Happy reading!!