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20 August 2013 @ 09:03 pm
Staying In Love With Your Partner (Show)  

Staying In Love With Your Partner (Show)

Relationships are seldom easy. Oh, some friendships can be – but love? Keeping things both fresh and committed can be hard, because the people (shows) we love are uniquely able to hurt us as well as delight us. Here's some advice on making your relationship with your beloved partner (favorite TV show) work!


Don't try to force your partner (show) to change! This is the most basic of basic rules. That whole “Hello, I love you, you're perfect, now change!” thing is a surefire recipe for killing a relationship. If you can't accept your partner (show) for who and what s/he/it actually is, a break-up is inevitable – and the longer you wait and more bitter you get about their failure to conform to your desires and expectations, the more acrimonious the parting will be. Love the one you're with! If you can't love s/he/it any more for some reason, gently say goodbye. Don't make the mistake of falling in love with your vision of who and what your partner (show) is, only to get angry when you realize they aren't – and never will be – what you only imagined. If that happens, it's not their fault; it's your mistake. Look again, and decide whether you can accept and love what's really there. If so, great! If not – move on. Don't hurt yourself and others. If you've got genuine advice on how to make things better, offer it – but remember that's a two-way street!

Treat your partner (show) as they wish to be treated; at a minimum, treat them as you would wish to be treated! Do you respond well to petulant demands? Do you like being pestered or even bullied? Do you enjoy being insulted? Do you like being called names or treated with disrespect? No? Then don't treat your partner (show) that way! What's more, don't treat your partner's family and friends (show writers, actors, and fans) that way, either. Always follow the golden rule. We'll all be happier for it, including you!

Don't jump to conclusions or make premature judgments on incomplete information! Things often are not what they seem, especially when rumors swirl about events we haven't seen. When we jump to conclusions, we're often wrong. If we act on those wrong perceptions, we can say and do hurtful things, creating a conflict where there was no actual reason for one. Don't listen to rumors (spoilers); they're almost always more likely to mislead you into anxiety or incorrect expectations than they are to sweeten the anticipation of something good. Wait until you know the full truth of a situation (see the episodes) before you judge. Hey: how many times have you been accused of something you didn't do or didn't say, and been judged unfairly for it because someone didn't bother to wait and get all the facts? Don't be guilty of doing that to your partner (show)!

Let your partner (show) keep some secrets! Mystery is tantalizing; it helps keep a relationship interesting, because when your partner (show) can still surprise you, s/he/it keeps you from becoming bored or taking things for granted. Never assume that all secrets are bad! Haven't you ever gotten a surprise present that totally made your day? Well, maybe it will come on your next birthday – or two days after, when you least expect it!

Don't go to bed angry! Don't nurse a grudge or keep retelling a negative story to yourself, feeding anger and resentment. Clear the air before you end the day. Tell your partner (show) you love them despite whatever disagreement you may be having; practice acceptance and forgiveness rather than demand and accusation. Most problems seem smaller and more easy to handle after you get rest; going to bed angry does nothing but rob you of good rest and build resentment that makes problems even harder to solve. Don't do that to yourself and your partner (show)!

Be willing to grow! We all change over time with our experiences. If we're lucky, we develop wisdom along the way and learn to accept change, both in ourselves and others. You can't expect your partner (show) to remain exactly the way s/he/it was when you first met; try to grow along with them, understanding what they're going through and what things mean to them, as well as to you. Sometimes, we grow apart, developing in different ways that simply aren't compatible despite our love. That can be sad, but if it happens, it also opens us up to new relationships, if we're willing to accept the change and move on.

So, those are my basic bits of successful partner (show) relationship advice. Do you have additional ones to contribute? Weigh in!

And stay in love!

 
 
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: "Ready For Love" by Bad Company
 
 
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
borgmama1of5borgmama1of5 on August 21st, 2013 03:05 am (UTC)
This cracked me up and should be required reading before being allowed in fandom :)
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )